Some Concepts in EQ - an ongoing project
Confidentiality is what makes individual consultations possible. If someone thinks that what they say is going to be reported, hinted at, used in any way, then he or she will modify what they say accordingly. The greatest confidentiality makes for the truest divulging.
Divulging in the one-to-one context is the motor of change, not so much because it allows the consultant to know and therefore interpret something, but because it allows the individual who is divulging an opportunity to put it out there and look at it for what it is.
Interpreting is a faculty that belongs first to the client, and secondly to the consultant. Without venturing their own interpretations of what they are saying, clients are not learning enough to look at themselves and reflect on what they see. Consultants too interpret, but generally when they are asked to, and mostly to reflect what seems capital to them in what is being said.
Emotion is a wide-encompassing term to include any feeling state that has a direct outward expression. Emotions are contagious, and for this reason tend to be suppressed. The way a person suppresses emotions defines their character.
Character is the organisation and management of an individual’s defence mechanisms into a recognisable whole. It is a process that begins spontaneously in childhood, and evolves throughout all stages of life. Unlike one’s personality, one can to a certain extent change one’s character, if the defences one has built have become self-defeating.
Personality, unlike character, is a direct expression of an individual’s vital core. It is what makes each person inventive, alive, and specifically him or herself.
EQ or EI?
There has been considerable controversy in the past over whether to use EQ or EI to represent Emotional Intelligence.
EI being the actual acronym for Emotional Intelligence is favored by some, who point out that emotional intelligence cannot be measured in the same ways as intellectual intelligence can
On the other hand, people tend to use EQ more readily. So I do too.